It is an unequal battle this contest between an aging body and a young vigorous cancer but the body is still intact missing a few parts, and tired. Tired of this battle, tired of toiling against an unseen foe, tired of giving blood, tired of all those pricks and penetrations in arm, wrist, back and stomach tired of dedicating time to the routines of hospitals and surgeons, tired of suffering the after affects of so many healing poisons, tired of wondering when will this body fail cancer triumph, death collect its debt.
The tide of life is now devoted to toiling away in hospital waiting rooms and the tyranny of its routines and rhythms waiting for an appointment waiting in large rooms filled with other hopefuls waiting in small sterile claustrophobic rooms waiting for technicians with their machines and indifference waiting for nurses and their questions which are always the same waiting for doctors who are always cheerful as if this was a social call waiting for the results which are never so dire as to give up hope and never so positive that hope is justified waiting and wandering when will the other shoe drop.
This trial has possibilities a doctor explains We have this experiment and that experiment life is an experiment something will work we are making progress five years ago we had nothing to offer, five years ago you would be dead now we have all these possibilities. Are your affairs in order?
No. Nothing is in order.
Peter D. Goodwin divides his time between the streets and vibrant clutter of New York City and the remnants of the natural world along Maryland's Chesapeake Bay, discovering in the dislocation of environments and cultures the creative edge where words rekindle their spark. His poems have been published in various anthologies, and in a number of journals including Rattle, Memoir(and),River Poets Journal, Delaware Poetry Review, Yellow Medicine Review, Twisted Tongue, Poetry Monthly, Main Street Rag, LockRaven Review, Sliver of Stone."This poem was written towards the end of a seven year battle with cancer," says Peter. "As the end approached, my late wife continued to choose life."